A Growing Seed
Growing up seeing
Actions you threw away
Growing up listening
To lies of what you've got
To words that you were listing
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Now I stand on my own
A distance of a thousand miles
From the windblown hill
And broken souls that litter that summit
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I see what you tried to do
And the things you've done right
But your incompleteness stands testament
To all the things that might have been
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The lessons you think you taught
Aren't the strongest ones
Instead, I learned from the failure around you
Failure to see reality as you have created it
I see lies you told to convince yourselves
To sedate you into compliance
Of the architecture of your own ignorance
Shambles and broken promises
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Missed and unfinished opportunities
Futures that might have been
Ruled by fear, but failure still resides
The inability to self evaluate
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Your unwillingness to learn and grow
With a changing world that has been left behind
Hidden and forgotten even by your peers
I wonder do you have a regret
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From that failure, I learned to grow
Like an unwatered tree, I grew
Beyond my constraints and rusted metal enclosure
I refuse to fall into the same destruction
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I reached high, and the sun has shown down
Through holes and gaps in your teaching
Until I broke your embrace and grew past you
Your choices still choke me
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But I refuse to be defined by them
I will not emulate the same stunted stories
And lean on your cruxes like your other seeds
I will not blame the world for my failure
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I do not blame you for my challenges
I scorn you for not growing yourself
Sitting in a time capsule of your own making
And unchanging in your insanity
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This trunk will not give up
Now that I have fully branched out and reached higher
I will grow beyond your crumbled fountains
And broken carriages
So I will leave you lying in your own despair
Of Nails and junk
You will be lost to my climb
Overgrown and lost in my story
Taught by the Dead
Lying in the grass
Under that big tree
Just a few houses away
He was there, a little bit older
He died today, too surreal.
He taught me to grow.
Grow up to be me
I learned how to be real.
In this world
Where life is too busy
And far too short
But for him, it was shorter.
I was caught up in my own busy
To have spent more time with him
I don’t how it happened or why
It just feels like I have been wronged
I stand within these sacred walls.
The same ones that questioned my questions
That tested me on my faith
These same walls that I once walked
I am amongst his family and friends
With The flowers so bright and colorful
Roses, and lilies line the rows
Of old wooden pews
I see the box of chestnut red
Sitting front and center
Pictures of the man inside resting
All adorned with those shimmering flowers
As I walk closer
I start to see the body
Or should I say
Lifelike doll
That has taken the place
The place that was once a man
A man that laughed with me
Comforted me and taught me
I stand here amongst these people
They barely recognize me, it’s been years
A boy has grown into a man
A man that was taught by the dead
Lovely Sail
Sailing In the breeze
Water lapping at the side
Rocking the boat gently
As the bow breaks the waters ahead
We are cruising with no destination.
One day we decided that after all the trolling in the basin
To take leave of land and push out into the sea
We saw potential in this voyage and all it could be
But I don't remember the reason we choose to begin
We have sunk other ships for vindication
Yet we decided in the few months before this it would be different
We knew we'd see others on the sea, so we made a commitment
That our hull will be our home resting
We could buoy our desires to another for a day, but we'd be lasting
And if needed, we'd set our anchor down and be still
In the waves riding out the swell
I don't know if this was the right course
But somehow, I don't really want another resort
Our sea has never been calm
Always a Rouge wave upsetting the charm
Yet we sailed forward, rarely looking back at our wake
Forgetting about land and those ships beyond the break
This venture has gained us a great treasure
It would be more a loss to part with them than with your pleasure
But that's not to say you wouldn't be a lost endeavor
So no matter what waves have before us
It won't be much to master and bust
We've weathered a few grand storms where the hull almost split
But as we coast along, we know how to resist those waters now
I hope that when we're done.
If this is to end
We divide peacefully and don't upend
This whole journey we've been on
I don't want to wreak this ship that we've been upon
I want to hold onto the happy bliss
That we've had on this sun-drenched reminisce
Thoughts of
the Abyss
As I sit here in the dark
As I travel through the stark abyss
I ponder the life I’ve lead
It’s a shadow of my memory
Surrounding me like darkness in my stead
I live a life learning to deal with cards
Dealt with me by an outside dealer
I keep bluffing what I have
Trying to outgun
The slinger of the west before I die
To learn the morals of life through the moral-less
It is a privilege that I am only now realizing
To see that in every bad thing, something good can happen
Even now, the lights out in the dark
Tell me stories I just can’t read yet
I don’t believe in one god or many
I believe that order has happened
Not randomly but specifically
I believe that chance is a fallacy
But not Impossible
These power that orders us are not judging
It is we of the abyss who judge each other
And under this order, we define
The rules of our nature
With the idea of permanence that we will never know
So as my bones and body grow stronger
Ever weak I will be to the time of the abyss
This place of consciousness that we call home
It is broken only by more darkness in the end
So as I pass through this time
through this place
The things I do are for the love of myself
And those that choose me
Not whom I was forced upon
I will cherish the moments that I have left
In this darkness, before my light goes out
Children
In the beginning, it is all happy
The light shining in our eyes
The very first time
Joy rebounds off the walls
Souls feel charged
Those first days pass quickly
Voices are loudly resounding now.
Breaking silence even today
Broken bones and haunted words
This night goes on forever now
Missing the butterflies
Dancing in the wind
We were so young
and yet so strong
I responded to it all
That night shattered, tears flowed.
Faster down my cheeks than ever
Running longer than rivers
They kept flowing
Hands raised high, fist clenched
I do not know what was wrong
Chaos spoke from the dark.
Shadows woke to take their claim.
Fallen to the ground
Red rushing around
My fingers scratched
Heartbroken into pieces
First loves torn
Now I lie on the floor
Whispered words in the flutter
I am lost to the year remembered not
Except as the lonely child in the coffin
Away from everything
Once of joy
Walking in the clouds
I look down to see it still happening
All around where I lie
Voices hushed to soon
Thoughts and fears unexpressed
Walls and glass are all the same
Broken in a disarray
Why oh Why is the night so long
Why are those moments lost
When the stars were bright in my eyes
What went wrong I ask
When the moon sets, I still find no reply
So I pray for those still there
Fighting to hold on
Hoping not to die
Swinging as fast as they can through the years
Holding on to little grasped
My friends do not forget us.
We are all one and many.
Look around. There is a message.
Written in our eyes
On our skin and bones
They are words
Those are left unspoken
My fear is that even those.
Who makes the crime
Know not why they do
Harm, Beat and Break
So where will it end
I know not, but someday
Our words will be heard
From above, I hope
Tomorrow is a better day
Some do make it through
To see the morrow
Where they can change the chain
But not all can
Some are lost on both sides
Of war carried on
Those who tear
and Those who are torn
Dear lovers, learn to calm storms that blow
For your flowers that still wants to grow
Not in fear and stone
But with your light
To be strong
Make the wounds
Disappear forever
Let them join the others
In their own days
Please don't take it away
Once they were your hope
Remember them now
Remember why
Remember that day
Remember the joy
Remember their eyes
Remember first words
Remember those steps
Remember and don't forget
They're here to stay
They are not yours to destroy
But yours to grow
Yours to teach
and Yours to love
Without an end
Forevermore